sidenote

we are so insignificant.

nothing really matters.

the universe is huge.

why are we even here.

sometimes i get all existential.

but seriously. how do humans have so many emotions and how can things matter so much? everything is insignificant really. or it will be because we all die. and our life is so short, and we will be forgotten, so why do we even exist?

sometimes i think life is stupid and nothing really matters.

except it does.

real stuff

ok, I'll write something real for a change.

Erica was here for the week and it's been super super fun. Jesica came to hang a couple times. I love all the cougs so much. they make me so happy.

Graduation is Wednesday and I move out of the city on May 31st. Then I come home to Harrison for 2 weeks then start warped tour and do that till late August. Then I have to come back home to Harrison? that sucks dude. I want manhattan. I want the east village. I want saint marks between 1st and A.

What am I going to do after tour? I kind of want to keep touring. Do sponsorship. But those jobs are hard to get. Otherwise I want to be a manager, or an assistant to someone with a cool job that I would like to learn from. Or work at Fuse. I need to email them. All I know is I want to be around and working with music and bands for now. Unless Food Network gives me a job. mmmm.

I can't believe I'm moving back home and out of NYC. that SUCKS so much. I love love love nyc. I wish it was less expensive. If I tour I don't know if I'll get an apartment because that would be silly, but I don't want to have to live in harrison in between tours.

I hate decisions. Someone figure it out for me and tell me what to do. please. please. please. I hate not having a list of things to do and I hate not having a plan. It's scary.

And I hate eating 500 pounds of food in one day. Tomorrow its back to breakfast.lunch.dinner. and baby carrots.

I'm in harrison now, I came home for the night because of 1- we have these taralli that I love and was craving and 2- street cleaning is tomorrow and I didn't want to wake up at 9 to move my car and I didn't want to drive around to find another parking spot.

I was driving home and went on 95 south instead of north and ended up in jersey. So I had to turn around and come back to ny. I'm so dumb sometimes. Like today when I misread the terminal signs and we couldn't find jetblue for erica.

Sometimes I feel really stupid and ditzy because I forget things or make stupid mistakes. I don't like feeling like a ditz.

ok, Ill probably go to bed now. I'm excited for tomorrow and my baby carrots.

goodnight.

lisa.